Yes this is an evil list, but spammers are evil, Think Darth Vader crossed with Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and you have idea of how lower then pond scum I think spammers rate.
Recently made madder then a wet hen by a spammer (an actual clueless business no less) this is what happens when you wake up at 1:00 am and have insomnia. Inspiration!
- Make them eat a spam, marmite, casu marzu, okra and durian fruit sandwich. Stinky AND revolting.
- Force feed them spam until they reach Violet Beauregarde proportions, (a la Willy Wonka)
- Put them in a suit made of spam and drop them in the African Veldt among a hyena pack.
- Leave a large paper bag of flaming rotten spam on their front porch (a la doggie smuch) I understand spam takes about 3 weeks to actually rot opened and un-refrigerated. That’s a scary thought in of itself.
- Puree spam and dump it in their car ventilation system (would make an interesting call to Car Talk)
- Drop them on a deserted desert island with a years worth of spam to live on.
- Find Serge from the Tim Dorsey novels and have him come up with a creative way to kill the spammer with spam.
- Hmmmmmm, Soylent green is made of people, Solyent spam anyone?
- Air drop 3 tons of sliced spam in their yard, making sure to coat the car. Rumor has it spam makes a dandy paint remover.
- Put them in solitary and make them listen to a non-stop loop of Monty Pythons Spam Glorious Spam song for 48 hours.